Apparently Life Begins at 40...Yeah right!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

16. You consider the new Star Wars movies as rubbish but still feel the need to buy the Boxset.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

15. All your tee shirts start to develop stretch marks.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

14. Your belly button goes from an ‘innie’ to an ‘outtie’.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

13. When the doctor actually starts to take your complaints of aches and pains seriously.

Monday, October 23, 2006

12. You have to exercise rigorously just to retain the pear shape you already have. Plus, now you have chub friction rashes where your sweaty skin rubs during these intense workouts...nice.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

11. You grow a goatee to approximate a jaw-line.

Friday, October 20, 2006

10. You just want a nice quiet pint.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

9. You have the money to drive the flash convertible, only to be too embarrassed to be seen driving round with the roof down.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

8. Driving at 40 miles an hour feels more like driving at 60.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

7. Your sex drive decides to pull over and park for long periods.

Monday, October 16, 2006

6. As you mature new mass begins to grow, first it's hidden but as the years pass and it grows bigger and bigger it surfaces beyond the bath water. Welcome to Gut Island!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

5. You run and your gut seems to runs 3 steps behind you complaining all the way.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

4. You develop an unhealthy mistrust of machinery. Speed cameras, the newest mobile phones and weighing scales being the main culprits

Friday, October 13, 2006

3. When you are 20 you feel like you know everything, but now I'm old enough to know I'm not wise enough.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

2. Older friends assure you that 40 is a good age….What!!!…It gets worse?!!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

1. You begin to notice when you drop your children off at school, that less and less of the mums are as hot they used to be, as they age along with you.

Monday, October 09, 2006

As you've probably guessed, I have recently turned 40. It's a milestone. People will tell you."Life Begins at 40". Unfortunately, I do not share this view, you see, I'd prefer to be 30. It all started for me when I was about 22. I was out socializing with friends when I started feeling my left leg going numb. Fearing the worst, I made my excuses any hobbled off home. Walking seemed to make it deteriorate even more, so when I finally made it to the couch I was in a right state.
It wasn't until I undid my 28 inch baggy trousers that it all became horribly clear to me as the wet sensation of blood ran into my buttocks, I realized my trousers were too tight. My blood had been cut off from my leg by the forces of my expanding trunk.The heady days of the 28 inch waist had passed me by. My waistline was putting its foot down and accelerating. From there on in, it was downhill all the way.
This blog will be a testiment to why"Life Begins to Suck at 40"